SEXUAL PROBLEMS......SEEEENYUMMMM

A woman went to her psychiatrist because she
was having severe problems with her sex life. The
psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not
seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems.
Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's
face while you are having sex?"
"Well, yes, I did once."
"Well, how did he look?"
"Very angry."
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was
really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's
very interesting, we must look into this further.
Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your
husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat
unusual; how did it occur that you saw his face that
time?"
"He was looking through the window at us."

2.A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I can't wear your trousers." she said.

"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it.
I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said,
"Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only
get them on as far as his kneecaps.

"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going
to stay until your attitude changes."

3.Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex:

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone
And you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a
Short time and you are so horny you will have sex
Anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time.
Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your
Bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for too long.
When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "fuck you".

The 5th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more.
She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

The 6th kind is called Religious Sex,
Which means you get Nun in the morning,
Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

OOPS. Don't forget the 7th kid of sex - Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough to live on!