Friday, April 27, 2007

Pisang kah atau tofu



Singapore’s Society for Men’s Health and a pharmaceutical firm are proposing a four-point scale for erectile dysfunction, allowing men to rate their own hardness with four categories: cucumber, unpeeled banana, peeled banana and tofu (bean curd).

Just couldn't imagine macamana Dr TA ambil history daripada patient.

Dr TA: Encik macam mana....ada serupa Buah Pisang ka? Pisang di kupas? atau sama itu Tofu?

Mr D: Tak tau inncik..apa itu..dia punya rasa ka?Mana ada sendiri rasa punya?

Dr TA: Ayo yo! Bukan dia punya rasa...dia punya kiiirraass juga!

Mr D: Itu macam ka...ada rupa itu To Fu jugakk!

Reported on Elixir News:

Pfizer has unveiled a new erection hardness tool which will enable men to take more control of their erectile dysfunction (ED) management and measure the success of their treatment. This new tool is based on a 4-point scale which identifies grade four erections as the optimal treatment goal for men with erectile dysfunction.
The launch of the Erection Hardness Score (EHS) tool follows a new global consensus, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, which highlights optimal erection hardness as the key objective factor for determining better sex.

The EHS was also launched in Malaysia recently. The Pfizer Global Better Sex Survey showed that 35 percent of the Malaysian respondents were found to have moderate ED and another 11 percent with severe ED.

For simplicity and ease of use, the EHS tool is based on a straightforward 1 to 4 scale. Patients are merely asked to assess their level of hardness based on the following:
• EHS 1 = Penis is larger but not hard
• EHS 2 = Penis is hard, but not hard enough for penetration
• EHS 3 = Penis is hard enough for penetration but not completely hard
• EHS 4 = Penis is completely hard and fully rigid

Doktor always described penyakit dengan makanan....contoh makanan yang selalu dikaitkan dgn penyakit...brokoli,cauliflower,grapes,dan banyak lagi...
sebabnya doktor memang kaki makan........

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

.reunion dinner ..







..Seronok dapat jumpa geng lama...sama-sama asasi dulu...sama-sam duduk kat kolej Zaaba....kolej Pertama...last kolej Ibnu Sinna..

Berbagai cerita keluar...gelak sampai ucapan NC UM dan Timbalan Menteri tak di hirau....ya lah kita datang nak jumpa kawan bukan nak dengar ucapan"leteran" mereka....

Ada geng yang dah berubah...tak berape nak cam lagi....
...John Weng...dah membesar ke depan...rambut pun dah putih dan.....
...Cool It.......Muka dah licin...ya lah ...dah jadi Pakar Aesthetic..
....Naslan ...cool macam biasa...pelat jawa masih pekat..
...Bronk.....membesar kedepan dan tepi.
...Aziz Blues....masih BLUES..
...Anu....control macho...sebab bini dia ikut..
....Halim....aku ingat dia ketua waiter kat situ....ha ha..maintain hensem
.... Rashid Mokhti....Dahi dah boleh jadi "helipad"
....Junaidi....macam biasa..tak banyak berubah...
...Rosman....Mamat ni...tak berubah..."style" dulu juga..'sigh'
......Udd...aku respek kat hang...
.....Kuncer....macho..."hang buat kat bini hang...sampai kurus sangat"
...Tokasid.....aku malas nak komen hang...nanti hang kutuk aku pulak..one thing..hang tak berubah...
....Zamri.....maintain boyish look.....malam tu hang macam waiter....ada ka kutuk aku...ketua belia 4B!


Seronak jumpa u all....Dinner hari tu....dia orang hidang lauk apa ya?

Monday, April 23, 2007

Happy Hari Lahir....



Happy Birthday kpd Mami....semuga panjang umur dan murah rezeki...

..Ingatkan nak buat suprise ..masa beli hadiah..tapi Wawa dah pecahkan rahsia...



Terdengar lagu ini masa pergi kerja tapi versi Ella....best juga...and i like Ella punya version...

This song dedicated to Mami.....


Takkan Melupakanmu


Oh terindah, lagu yg terindah
Sengaja aku cipta untukmu yg terindah
Semoga dapat meluluhkan segala keraguan
Semoga dapat menghancurkan kerasnya batu prasangka

Aku takkan melupakanmu
Takkan meninggalkanmu
Takkan menduakan cintamu
Ku bersumpah

Aku tak ingin mengingkar janji
Tak ingin menjadi duri
Tak ingin menjadi api cinta yg membara
Rebahlah kau di pelukku

Lepaskan resahmu
Bebaskan jiwamu
Dari prasangka-prasangka burukmu
Dari kerasnya batu curiga

Aku takkan melupakanmu
Takkan meninggalkanmu
Takkan menduakan cintamu
Ku bersumpah

Senyum lah melati
Sambutlah mentari
Raihlah cintamu
Hari ini

Aku takkan melupakanmu
Takkan meninggalkanmu
Takkan menduakan cintamu
Ku bersumpah

Radja

Friday, April 20, 2007

Verse of the day..


.....Oh..Ijok..untuk renungan

VERSE OF THE DAY:

DO NOT DEFAME ONE ANOTHER

"O you who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others. It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former). And let no women laugh at others. It may (also) be that the (latter) are better than the (former). Do not defame (one another), or be sarcastic to each other, or call each other by (offensive) nicknames."

The Holy Quran, 49:11

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Yang tersirat...

Perahu penambang di Sungai Sarawak Kuching



WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

Saturday, April 14, 2007

..Nak jadi Tupai ke..?


Kejadian ditepi pagar gelanggang tenis pada hari tournament....




Dalam ramai-ramai kawan ...ada dua tiga orang yang a bit nakal...
Kenakalan yang mereka akui susah nak tinggalkan iaitu ...masih mempunyai girlfriend walaupun dah beristeri dan beranak......

"kebahagian rumahtangga bergantung kpd kepandaian kita menipu isteri"..itu kata saudara Mat.
"Ya lah ,tak kan nak bagi tau dia,kita keluar makan dgn perempuan...kita pergi dangdut dgn perempuan....meletup lah dia" sambung saudara Mat lagi.

"sampai bila nak menipu" tanya saya dgn Mat.
"Sampai kita terkantoi lah..." jwb Mat dgn ringkas."kalau terkantoi..kita dah sediakan beberape set jawapan...dan ada plan A dan plan B....dan bersedia menjadi pelakon yang terbaik..." sambung Mat lagi..
"yang pentingnya otak kita mesti kreatif +++" kata Mat dgn bangganya.

Itu lah antara perbualan saya dgn Mr Mat yang macho semasa minum petang sambil pekena goreng pisang dan teh halia....

From my observation....orang macam ni memang ada peculiar habits mereka yang mereka tak perasan...atau perasan....

1.Working overtime.....susah sangat nak contact mereka...tefon mereka asyik engaged saja.....atau lambat nak pickup phone...

2.Aset yang paling penting adalah HANDFON...kalau tertinggal kat rumah sanggup patahbalik...walaupun dah sampai pejabat....

3.Yang bestnya...ada 2 set telepon....satu number utk family...dan satu lagi utk kegunaan peribadi....yang satu tinggal kat ofis saja...dan di-on masa ofis hours je.

4.Berkawan dgn doktor dan introduce kawan-kawan dia dgn doktor...senang nak dapat supply viagra,cialis..(subahat kah?...i dont think so)

5.Mengenai dressing...dia orang memang smart.

6.Pemurah dgn perempuan...dan kalau bercakap .."lembut gigi dari lidah"Sanggup spend banyak ...sampai dapat...

7.Sentiasa wangi...dan sangat particular dgn appearance mereka.

8.Mereka ini sangat kreatif....dalam hal memutar-belit isteri mereka....

EVEN THAT I KNOW HUSBAND WHO HAVE CHEATED THEIR WIVES FOR YEARS.,USUALLY MEN ARE CARELESS....."SEPANDAI-PANDAI TUPAI MELOMPAT AKHIRNYA GEDEBUP KE TANAH"...FINDING THEM CHEATING IS MUCH EASIER THAN FINDING A CHEATING WOMAN.

Ini nak pesan dgn kawan-kawan.....WOMAN HAVE A VERY SPECIAL FEELING ABOUT BEING CHEATED......SO BE MORE CREATIVE....







Thursday, April 12, 2007

tenis piala tan sri bujang unimas



Gambar semasa Perasmian oleh Tan Sri Bujang( Chairman Unimas)



Last week...semasa cuti good Friday dan weekend tu ..kita orang dari Samarahan Tenis Club joined Pertandingan Tenis Jemputan Unimas Piala Tan Sri Bujang.
Mana larat lawan orang muda ...just managed masuk semifinal je...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

BALLS...AND GUTS...

Dulu kat Ibnu Sinna...geng Musa J ,John weng....selalu cakap"u got no BALLS'...or "no guts lah u ni".....ini u all selalu cakap selepas kita orang takut menerima cabaran mengorat minah cantik....macam mana nak ngorat.. kita ni..hensem tarak...harap dgn manis dan budi bahasa je...he he he..

Tokasid selalu cakap..."kalau setakat "hello"...Lionel Richie pun boleh...

We have heard about ada orang having guts or balls.......
Tapi do you really know the difference between them?

GUTS....Is arriving home late after a night out.....being met by your wife depan pintu with a broom.....having the GUTS to ask ..."hi...tak tidor lagi...masih menyapu sampah...or are flying somewhere?"

BALLS.....is coming home late after a night out...pergi Dangdut.....smelling of perfume and beer...lipstick kat collar baju...siap slap pungkok bini and having the BALLS to say:" you are next.....and how much?'

I hope this clears up confusion mengenai definasi guts and balls.....

MEDICALLY SPEAKING...THE PROGNOSIS IS BAD...BOTH ULTIMATELY RESULT IN DEATH ATAU KENA POTONG KASI KAT ANJING...HE HE HE



Wednesday, April 04, 2007

rupa...,

"Adakah rupa ,umur dan jantina dan kedudukan seseorang itu mempengaruhi layanan seorang doctor keatas nya?"Tanya seorang sahabat kepada saya petang semalam.

Ini adalah soalan cepu emas.....

I'm not so sure...there is no solid answers .....but when i looked back...i m more thorough with kids and orang tua.
Kedudukan seseorang?....kalau kenal may be lama sikit berbual mengenai hal -hal lain atau berbual mengenai keadaan semasa...
Jantina...a bit segan dgn org perempuan...esp bila nak palpate dan bertanya soalan yang sensitif...kalau dgn org lelaki amat senang sekali...tapi kita mesti bertindak professional dan beretika......dan jangan lupa chaperone

Joke....bagaimana rupa mempengaruhi layanan doctor....

An attractive, perfect looking young girl, chaperoned by her ugly old aunt, entered the doctor’s office.
“We have come for an examination” said the young girl.
“Alright,” said the doctor. “Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.”
“No, not me” said the girl. “it’s my old aunt here.”
“Very well,” said the doctor. “Madam, please stick out your [

.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

pengorbanan.....


..Nice cerita...email dari kawan ...mari kita sama fikirkan dan renung-renungkan......


There was a blind girl who hated herself because of her blindness.
Not
only did she hate herself but she hated everyone else, except her
loving
boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could
only
see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see
everything, including her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you
marry
me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind
too,
and refused to marry him.

Before her boyfriend walked away in tears, he handed her a written
letter
that simply said, "Just take care of my eyes dear."

Moral of the story.....

This is how the human brain changes when our status changes.

Only a
few
remember what life was like before and even fewer remember who to
thank
for always being there even when times were painfully unbearable.

Sangat kurang orang menghargai pengorbanan dan pertolongan kita...tapi tak usahlah bersedih...kerana Dia akan membalas jasa baik dan amal yang kita buat.....